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Whose war are you fighting?



The Woman; A River

So many people have fought and died in wars they know nothing about. As strange it sounds, it’s the reality of life. So many had burnt down bridges that should have linked them to greener pastures; destroyed their would have been safe house and shelter before they realize what they had done, just because the war that led them to the incidence was not theirs.

A woman once told me that the enemy of my friend is my enemy, and I asked her a simple question, ‘what if you make peace between your friend and her enemy and gain another friend?’ So many of us are good manipulators and perfect social recruiters. We have so perfected the act of using unsuspecting innocent people to fight our personal battles that one would have gone deep into the fight before one realizes that the outcome of the fight would not affect one in any way. Such people know how to use public offices and common trust for their selfish interest. They have gained mastery of the use of subtle blackmail to seduce the simple and naïve to think that they are championing a common course, while all they care about is their selfish goal.

We are not talking about monsters here; we are talking about regular jolly-good fellows. They are as close as you can imagine. They are mothers, sisters, co-wives, friends, colleagues, daughters, mothers-in-law, daughters-in-law, sisters-in-law, wives, and so on. The men folks are not also left out. They tell you stories that touch the heart; destroying your neighbour and friend and painting themselves saints. They make you believe they are either fighting your course or suffering because of their good deeds. Such persons tell each individual what they want to hear. Yet, they are super manipulators and back stabbers. Be careful when they tell you those stories that make them the heroes and heroins, and paint all others villains. When they opt to watch your back even when you have nothing to fear; beware. Those are the early stages of recruitment. When they tell you tales of how one person or the other has hurt you or your loved ones in the past without your knowledge; please run for your dear life, else you will see yourself a captain leading a battalion in a battle that has nothing to do with you.

While it is good to show solidarity, it is best to err on the side of caution. Just like not all friends of your friends are your friends, the enemies of your friends may not necessarily be your enemies. In fact, they might be your destiny helpers. Instead of joining in the fight against someone who has done nothing wrong to you, brokering peace with them will always be a better option. If you have a general knowledge of the military structure, you will know that the recruit has no say in their daily routine. They only take orders. That is why the late Fela Kuti called them ‘Zombies’. Hence, refuse to be used by anyone irrespective of who they are because you will only become a pun in their hands to be used and disposed at will.

When listening to those stories that touch the heart and that clarion call to rise up and fight for your right, always ask God for discernment. Look closely and deeply before you leap; else you will leap into danger and worse still, into your death. This is neither meant to scare you in any way nor a call to embrace cowardice; rather it is an encouragement to confront every story you hear with the truth and test the veracity of the truth you hear before you act on them. Let us learn to let God do the fighting because the battle is His. Remember that it is not all battles that deserve your efforts. Some are meant to be ignored. So, allow time to deal with them squarely. And if you must fight, fight your own war. Do not allow yourself to be a recruit in another person’s war.


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